Who Should I Marry? A Comprehensive Guide by Luis Palau

In this insightful guide, renowned evangelist and author Luis Palau shares his wisdom and insights on the crucial decision of whom to marry. Drawing upon biblical principles and his decades of pastoral experience, Palau provides a roadmap for discerning God's will in the realm of relationships.

The Importance of Choosing Wisely

Marrying the right person is one of the most pivotal decisions you will ever make. It can profoundly impact your happiness, fulfillment, and well-being. According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, couples who are well-matched in terms of age, education, and income tend to have more stable and satisfying marriages.

How to Discern God's Will

1. Prayer: Seek God's guidance through prayer. Ask Him for wisdom and discernment in choosing a life partner.
2. Bible Study: Study the biblical principles related to marriage. This will provide you with a foundation for decision-making.
3. Counseling: Consider seeking professional counseling from a pastor or therapist who can provide objective insights and support.
4. Life Experience: Reflect on your past relationships and what you have learned from them. This can help you identify patterns and preferences.

Qualities to Look for in a Spouse

1. Genuine Faith: A shared Christian faith is essential for a strong and enduring marriage. It provides a common foundation and a shared purpose.
2. Integrity: Choose someone who is honest, trustworthy, and has a strong moral character.
3. Compatibility: Look for someone who shares your values, interests, and goals. Compatibility is crucial for creating a harmonious relationship.
4. Emotional Maturity: Emotional maturity is essential for healthy communication and resolving conflicts.
5. Commitment: Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Ensure that you are both committed to growing together and facing life's challenges side by side.

Red Flags to Avoid

1. Abusive Behavior: Any form of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse is unacceptable.
2. Addictions: Substance abuse or other addictive behaviors can have detrimental consequences for a relationship.
3. Unresolved Trauma: Unresolved trauma from past experiences can hinder the ability to form healthy connections.
4. Differences in Values: Fundamental differences in values can create immense strain on a relationship.
5. Unwillingness to Compromise: Marriage requires a willingness to compromise and work together towards common goals.

Benefits of Choosing Wisely

1. Lifetime of Love and Companionship: A well-chosen spouse will provide you with a lifetime of love, support, and companionship.
2. Increased Happiness and Fulfillment: Marriages built on strong foundations tend to be more fulfilling and result in higher levels of happiness.
3. Shared Values and Goals: Having a spouse who shares your values and goals creates a sense of purpose and unity.
4. Enhanced Communication and Trust: Strong marriages foster open communication and a deep level of trust.
5. Purposeful Parenting: If you plan on having children, choosing a compatible spouse is crucial for creating a stable and loving family environment.

Stories of Discernment

Story 1:
Emily, a young woman in her early 20s, was torn between two suitors. One was a charming and outgoing businessman, while the other was a kind and gentle pastor. After much prayer and reflection, Emily realized that the pastor better aligned with her values and goals. They eventually married and enjoyed a long and happy life together.

Story 2:
John, a divorced man in his 40s, had been hurt in previous relationships. He was hesitant to remarry but longed for companionship. Through counseling, John discovered his patterns of attraction and identified the red flags to avoid. He eventually met Susan, a woman with a strong faith and a heart for serving others. They married and built a thriving relationship based on mutual respect and love.

Story 3:
Sarah and David were a couple who had been married for over 30 years. Throughout their journey, they faced numerous challenges, including financial difficulties and health issues. However, their strong faith and commitment to each other helped them overcome obstacles and strengthen their bond. They became a source of inspiration for others who had doubts about the possibility of a lasting and fulfilling marriage.

Call to Action

Choosing whom to marry is a deeply personal and significant decision. By following the guidance outlined in this article, you can increase your chances of finding a compatible and loving partner. Remember, God wants you to experience a fulfilling marriage, and He will guide you along the way if you seek His will.